Embracing Change: My Journey Through Perimenopause

Discovering Perimenopause

So, I'd vaguely heard the word "perimenopause" a few years ago. It was during those endless lockdowns, tuning into a podcast here and there, when I first heard Dr. Louise Newson's name. Honestly, I was probably only half-listening.

Menopause? That wasn't on my radar yet. I was still getting my period every month, no hot flashes or night sweats in sight. I had enough on my plate already and figured, "That’s not something I need to worry about right now."

Ignoring the Signs

But I was so wrong! Back then, I’d had experience of dealing with periods of insomnia, depressive episodes, anxiety, lack of energy, and my memory—well, it’s always been a bit rubbish.

I chalked it all up to stress, past bouts of mental illness, and the emotional toll of losing several close family members in a period of just a few years. My mind had been juggling too much to even consider perimenopause.

Unravelling the Symptoms

In hindsight, it's clear that my symptoms were more than just life throwing its usual curveballs and perimenopause became masked by my prior experiences and other life factors. Do you know I can still remember one of my first panic attacks vividly—still living with my parents, probably in my late teens, learning to breathe into a paper bag to calm down.

And my memory? Let's just say over a decade ago my mum and sister would easily recollect family holidays when we were young in vivid detail, while I struggled to remember the previous week's shopping list.

It’s hard to deal with memory loss and brain fog, they both really eat away at your confidence, I might be able to put a front on and laugh it off over the years, but it’s really disconcerting and hard to be positive about.

Here’s another one that can be explained away - lack of sleep - it’s not unusual for any parent, but bouts of insomnia became more frequent after my daughter was a small baby. And although I could reason it away with some of the curve balls life was throwing me, I think this was another perimenopause symptom that was masked for quite some time.

Ronan Keating was right with his song ‘Life is a Rollercoaster’

Life in my forties, to be honest, felt like an emotional rollercoaster. Grief, stress, panic, anxiety, insomnia, depression and trauma became very familiar to me. Losing my Nan, sister, nephew, and Dad in the space of a few years turned my world upside down. Throw a global pandemic into the mix too, and it's no wonder I felt overwhelmed and perimenopause symptoms weren’t obvious to me..

The Moment Everything Changed

I think for me that’s the thing with perimenopause symptoms, in isolation they’ve been overlooked and and over time they’ve been masked and attributed to other things, on reflection it became clearer and it was a real shock when I joined all the dots at the age of 50.

That happened when my new GP casually mentioned, "Well, it's probably because you're in perimenopause, isn't it?" during a visit for an unusual UTI last January, I was floored. Perimenopause? Me? I had no idea that urinary tract infections could be a symptom.

That moment was like a spark, an awareness I needed to know more and so I started to read more and research in the hope of being able to have informed discussions with my doctor, should I need to in the future.

I also realised I knew nothing much about HRT apart from some bad press that was being debated and could now be positive. I decided I needed to find out more.

And it just so happened, my friends weren’t experiencing anything perimenopausal or menopausal yet either, so I didn’t really have anyone close to me to ask. Google and social media started to play a big part in me trying to get up to speed with what I was experiencing and how it could be helped. I think I also was very lucky in finding support through my GP and confiding in a colleague who was able to offer support and advice through her experience and knowledge.

Embracing Ownership and Self-Care

Investigation into abdominal pain I began to experience at the end of last year also made me look closely at the side effects of an antidepressant I’d started to take a couple of years ago.

I’d started taking it after experiencing chronic anxiety and panic attacks, like nothing I’d experienced before and for no real reason I could fathom at that particular time. Low and behold I now realise, that this was another symptom that was hidden and as well as low mood, are both common and can be heightened for midlife women in perimenopause.

So, as this awareness grew I really couldn’t ignore it anymore, I realised I needed to take on so much more ownership of what was happening to me. I had to dig deeper, educate myself more, and take control of my health.

This epiphany led me to start focusing on self-care and women's health, exploring more holistic ways to help with symptoms, and ultimately inspiring me to start Mindful and Me on Instagram and now, this blog.

Acknowledging the Journey

As I continued to research, I began to realise that I had more symptoms to add to this list: recent experiences of anger, joint pain, lack of sex drive, brain fog—not just poor memory—the list began and awareness began to grow.

I also discovered that menopause is technically just one day—the point when you've gone without a period for 12 consecutive months. Unlike the perimenopause stage, menopause itself is a defined moment rather than a prolonged phase, signalling the end of menstrual cycles and the start of a new chapter called postmenopause.

And just as this knowledge was starting to sink in, my periods started to get heavier, and I started to experience flooding. I just couldn’t ignore it anymore. I had to own it and embrace it—this was happening to me, I was in perimenopause and had probably been unknowingly for many years!

Community and Support

Perimenopause is a journey, not just a phase, and it will happen to all women. The age and duration, symptoms and severity vary because we're all different. While it's commonly thought to start in a woman's early forties, it can begin even earlier, in their thirties, for some. And some women may breeze through it with no significant symptoms that have a major effect on their lives.

It’s a part of life that I feel passionate about discussing more openly. I believe we're in a time of significant change, and these conversations are finally beginning to happen more.

But it’s truly been hard navigating such mental and physical changes without prior knowledge and what I would like to do here is help that change.

Looking Ahead

As I continue on this journey, I want to share my experiences and what I find helpful, hoping to inspire other women facing similar challenges. My goal is to create a blog, website, and newsletter to build a supportive community for other women navigating perimenopause.

Although I began HRT 6 months ago, I’ve also embraced a more holistic way of balancing symptoms and tried to make improvements to my overall health and wellbeing. As this continues, I look forward to sharing that with you on future blog posts too.

Prioritising yoga, and exploring breathwork and meditation techniques has been really beneficial and enjoyable on my midlife perimenopause journey

Please also follow my journey on Instagram @sarah_mindfulandme for more insights, tips, and personal experiences.